(FORTUNE Magazine) – HALLIBURTON An Army official cleared the company of charges that a subsidiary inflated the price of delivering gasoline to Iraq. Good thing--can you imagine the backlash in the Middle East if they discovered that Halliburton had engaged in price gouging? That's OPEC's turf!

THE IOWA CAUCUSES The contest, which takes place on Jan. 19, has some arguing that the state's corn-fed voters wield too much influence in picking a Democratic presidential candidate. Hey, it might seem undemocratic, but it's good preparation for when the Supreme Court picks our President.

DICK GRASSO While Eliot Spitzer and the SEC are investigating the former NYSE chief's compensation package, interim chairman John Reed is reportedly having trouble finding a replacement. Well, sure. How can you expect someone to do it for less than $188 million?

IMMIGRATION The President has proposed a plan to let companies hire previously illegal immigrants. The initiative is likely to be controversial, but at least one group is ecstatic: Wal-Mart subcontractors.

iPODS At the annual CES show in Las Vegas, H-P announced that it would resell Apple's MP3 players. It's about time Apple learned to partner. There's no upper-case "I" in "iTunes."

FALLING DOLLAR The good news: It's easier for U.S. companies to sell their goods abroad. The bad news: French existentialist philosophers now charge $25,000 an hour!

MAD COWS The U.S. Department of Agriculture says that from now on, the food supply will contain only brains and eyes from cows less than 30 months old. Whew! We'd hate to think that we might eat something disgusting.

THE APPRENTICE The winner of NBC's latest reality show gets to work for Donald Trump for one year. The losers have to work for him for three years.

PETE ROSE In a new book the former Cincinnati Reds manager grudgingly admits that he gambled on his own team: "I'm sure that I'm supposed to act all sorry or sad or guilty now that I've accepted that I've done something wrong," he writes. "But you see, I'm just not built that way." Apparently he went to the John Rocker School of Tact.

FOX Sandy Grushow, the chairman of Fox's TV entertainment group, resigned after a season that saw the failure of Skin and The Next Joe Millionaire. Looks as if H.L. Mencken was wrong: You can lose money underestimating the intelligence of the American people.